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Rondetto
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01-07-2008 03:10 PM
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Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 2598
My Profile
| NEW AIRLINE RULES
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be £5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locater fee of £5. It's the
airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about
this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry on bag looks heavy. Would you like
me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be £10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a £10 carry on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten
your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that
£10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a £50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the £10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do
for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work.
Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert 50p into
the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50p.
Passenger: I don't have any 50p's. Can you make change for a pound?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only 75p for my Pound.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25p.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy 25p? What the
heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the toilet.
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My Latest Review: Apr 2008 Diplomatic Hotel, Benidorm (10/10)
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tittlemouse
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01-07-2008 05:29 PM
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Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 50
My Profile
| Ha ha ha I suspect it could soon becoming to this.
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tom,s
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01-07-2008 06:50 PM
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Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 1602
My Profile
| has'nt this system already started.???
a charge for excess baggage,or charging extra for baggage,a charge for fast tracking checkin,a charge to sit together (as they point out when booking online) a charge for earphones so you can hear the entertainment (i remember when the sound was piped through the cabin and there was no need for earphones)until they thought we could make more money here if we stop the sound.
and on top of all this they now charge green tax,ATOL levy,fuel increase charge tranfers and meals which used to be part of your holiday until they thought we can make even more money.
tom.;-(
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My Latest Review: Jan 2008 Club Siroco Apartments, Costa Teguise (10/10) + Photos
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tittlemouse
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02-07-2008 07:58 AM
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Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 50
My Profile
| Hey your right Tom, this is not a joke ....yikes!!!
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Rondetto
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02-07-2008 01:53 PM
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Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 2598
My Profile
| No, it's intended as a tongue in cheek look at all the charges they put on us travellers these days.
Funny though aint it?
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My Latest Review: Apr 2008 Diplomatic Hotel, Benidorm (10/10)
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Meatloaf
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03-07-2008 10:41 AM
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Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Posts: 44
My Profile
| Luton airport are now going to charge £1 to use a 'Stae-of-the-art' baggage trolley. Soon will be carged an entrance fee to the Terminal.
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