Q. Why are there no Dumb Brunettes?
A.Peroxide.
Official Jokes Thread
by paul woodhouse on Sun Jul 22, 2007 13:01 pm
what does a blonde and a your computer have in common..
you dont know how much they mean to you. until they go down on you.
why dont blonde's eat bananas-
they cant find the zippa.
whats a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme
hump-me dump-me
what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive,
her ankles.
a blonde phones her husbend at work, and says can you help me,
her husband asks why whats up.
the blonde says i have started this jigsaw and im stuck already.
her husband says, what is the picture on the front. it might give you an idea. its a rooster she replies.
put the corn flakes back in the cupboard he replies....
you dont know how much they mean to you. until they go down on you.
why dont blonde's eat bananas-
they cant find the zippa.
whats a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme
hump-me dump-me
what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive,
her ankles.
a blonde phones her husbend at work, and says can you help me,
her husband asks why whats up.
the blonde says i have started this jigsaw and im stuck already.
her husband says, what is the picture on the front. it might give you an idea. its a rooster she replies.
put the corn flakes back in the cupboard he replies....
- paul woodhouse
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2007 12:32 pm
by tom,s on Sun Jul 22, 2007 18:34 pm
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning,
everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got
up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople
were sitting in their pews and talking
about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for
the exit, trampling each other in a frantic
effort to get away from this evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church,
except for one elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly
oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked
up to the man and said,
"Don't you know who I am?" The man replied
"Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried,
"Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied,
"Been married to your sister for 48 years..."
everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got
up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople
were sitting in their pews and talking
about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for
the exit, trampling each other in a frantic
effort to get away from this evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church,
except for one elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly
oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked
up to the man and said,
"Don't you know who I am?" The man replied
"Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried,
"Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied,
"Been married to your sister for 48 years..."
-
tom,s - Posts: 72
- Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 14:06 pm
- Location: floating in space
by isawlashings on Mon Jul 23, 2007 16:17 pm
It was a dark and stormy night, the tall figure approached the boatmans hut and said,
"I wish to join my friends on the lake."
"Mmmm, well, I think that's 40 pieces of silver."
"40 pieces of silver! That's more than my life's worth! Forget it! I'll walk!"
"I wish to join my friends on the lake."
"Mmmm, well, I think that's 40 pieces of silver."
"40 pieces of silver! That's more than my life's worth! Forget it! I'll walk!"
- isawlashings
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 09:42 am
by tom,s on Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:29 am
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.
They talk, they connect they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows
her around his apartment, she notices that
his bedroom is completely packed with
sweet cuddly Teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all
the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized
ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge
enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is kind of surprised that this
guy would have a collection of teddy bears,
especially one that's so extensive, but
she decides not to mention this to him,
and is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss...
and then they rip each other's
clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion
with this sensitive guy, they are lying
there together in the afterglow,
the woman rolls over and asks, smiling,
"Well, how was it?"
The man says,
"You can pick any prize from the bottom shelf"
They talk, they connect they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows
her around his apartment, she notices that
his bedroom is completely packed with
sweet cuddly Teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all
the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized
ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge
enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is kind of surprised that this
guy would have a collection of teddy bears,
especially one that's so extensive, but
she decides not to mention this to him,
and is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss...
and then they rip each other's
clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion
with this sensitive guy, they are lying
there together in the afterglow,
the woman rolls over and asks, smiling,
"Well, how was it?"
The man says,
"You can pick any prize from the bottom shelf"
-
tom,s - Posts: 72
- Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 14:06 pm
- Location: floating in space
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