Official Jokes Thread


Shoot the breeze off topic with your fellow HW members! All Welcome!

Postby HW Techie on Thu Jul 19, 2007 20:41 pm

Bex suggested it would be easier to keep all the jokes in one place :)

I'll start us off -

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail
all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto
placed his ear to the ground and listened.
"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto.
"How can you tell, Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger.
"Face sticky."
User avatar
HW Techie
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 12:00 pm

Postby Helspeth on Thu Jul 19, 2007 21:02 pm

Eeeeerrrrgggghhhhh!
User avatar
Helspeth
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:34 am

Postby tom,s on Thu Jul 19, 2007 21:06 pm

thats a brilliant idea,if you are down just go onto the joke thread and cheer yourself up.
User avatar
tom,s
 
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 14:06 pm
Location: floating in space

Postby tom,s on Thu Jul 19, 2007 21:16 pm

ok here goes,

A man makes this suggestion to his wife,

"Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?"

His wife responds with,

"Yes, I would really like that.

Tonight, you stand by the ironing board

And I'll lay on the couch and watch TV."
User avatar
tom,s
 
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 14:06 pm
Location: floating in space

Postby BonJovi on Thu Jul 19, 2007 21:18 pm

thats a man s joke really funny not
User avatar
BonJovi
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 01:12 am

Postby BonJovi on Thu Jul 19, 2007 21:23 pm

WHAT do michael jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic
and are Dangerous for children to play with.
User avatar
BonJovi
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 01:12 am

Postby tom,s on Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:58 am

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of
Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she
Peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table.

Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people
She had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and
Began calling greetings to her: "Hello. How are you? We've
Been waiting for you. Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such
A wonderful place. How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "l-o-v-e," and Saint Peter welcomed
Her into Heaven.

About two years later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked
Her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband
Arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband
Told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of
You while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the
Little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And
My wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on
Vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my
Head, and here I am. How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakia."
User avatar
tom,s
 
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 14:06 pm
Location: floating in space

Postby paul woodhouse on Fri Jul 20, 2007 13:25 pm

bloke walks in a music shop and asks the assistant , do they sell mouthorgans, the assistant replies thats strange, we have just had o lady in here not more than ten minutes ago, asking for the same thing.
that will be my sister our monica....the man replies
paul woodhouse
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2007 12:32 pm

Postby paul woodhouse on Fri Jul 20, 2007 13:43 pm

bloke comes home from work. says to his wife.' a mate at work as just told me that the window cleaner as slept with every women in this avenue bar-one. his wife replies. ' that will be that miserable cow at number 10.......
paul woodhouse
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2007 12:32 pm

Postby paul woodhouse on Fri Jul 20, 2007 13:55 pm

monkey walking through the jungle, with a banana in one hand and a tin-opener in the other. a lion see's the monkey and says you dont need a tin-opener to open a banana. monkey replies.
its not for the banana its for the custard.....
paul woodhouse
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2007 12:32 pm

Next

Return to General Chat



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests